If any of you were attempting to make money by using these picks last week, I hope that you listened to be and not Bellwether. One side note; my beloved Minnesota Wild opened the season last night against the Blue Jackets, and promptly laid and egg on the road. That officially means that every single team that I like in any sports sucks. It’s a sobering thought. Please tell me that college basketball starts soon. Please.
BJ: HOUSTON (-9.5) vs. Oakland – Who would win the Quarterback battle in Oakland if it were between JaMarcus Russell, Paul Crewe and Shane Falco?? Easy. They pick up Scott Bakula after week 2. Logg: Houston’s defense is pretty much the only thing that can make Russell look good. I’ll take the RAIDERS.
BJ: NEW ENGLAND (-2) vs. Baltimore – The Ravens, the most dominant team of the young season is getting points?? Either Vegas loves the Pats too much (they do), or they’re not too dumb to look past the fact that two of Baltimore’s three games were against the Browns and the Chiefs. Logg: New England just doesn’t look right. Maybe it’s because their QB is in KC. Just kidding. Take the PATS
BJ: Cincinnati (-5.5) vs. CLEVELAND – Do you think Brady Quinn got benched because of or in spite of this picture?? Logg: Here in Cleveland?? I didn’t even know we had a team. Yeah, we got uniforms and everything. It’s really great.…BENGALS
BJ: Tennessee (-3) vs. JACKSONVILLE – Do you think Jeff Fisher will get fired because of or in spite of this wardrobe choice?? Logg: I didn’t think that the race for the number one pick would be between the Chiefs, the Rams, and the Titans. TITANS bounce back.
BJ: NY Giants (-8.5) vs. KANSAS CITY – Is 8.5 the line, or the over/under on the number of snaps it takes for Osi Umenyiora to make Branden Albert cry?? Logg: They gotta win sometime, right? Right? Keep the faith – CHIEFS
BJ: CHICAGO (-10) vs. Detroit – KC is 2 for their last 28. With last week’s win, the Lions are 3 for their last 28…including a win over the Chiefs. [Channeling my inner-Bill Simmons] I will now light myself on fire. Logg: Lions go back to back and take this one straight up. LIONS
BJ: WASHINGTON (-7) vs. Tampa Bay – You are 28th in the league in scoring offense, your coach is a major gash, and you just lost to the fucking Detroit Lions…so of course you’re a touchdown favorite!! Did I look at the schedule wrong?? Are the ‘Skins playing the Chiefs this week?? Logg: How is Jim Zorn still employed? Does he have naked pictures of Daniel Snyder? Will he share, I mean…um…BUCS.
BJ: INDIANAPOLIS (-10.5) vs. Seattle – ? (Bellwether chose to write nothing about this game) Logg: How are you speechless after the Seahawks uniforms last week? COLTS in a laugher.
BJ: NEW ORLEANS (-7) vs. NY Jets – Know what would be hilarious?? If somebody made a #6 Jets jersey that had the name “DIRTY” on it. I can’t be the first one to think of this. Logg: I need Drew Brees to bounce back in a big way for the sake of my fantasy teams. SAINTS
BJ: Buffalo (-2) vs. MIAMI – Dammit…I wasn’t the first one to think of that. That completely took me out of the mood to tell a Jimmy Buffet joke…and I’m full of Jimmy Buffet jokes. Logg: If the NFL decided to not play this game this week, how many people would notice? PHINS
BJ: SAN FRANCISCO (-9.5) vs. St. Louis – “And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell your friends, that you placed a wager…on Kyle Boller!!!” Logg: Leonard Little killed someone while driving drunk. I just wanted to remind everyone of that. RAMS keep it close.
BJ: Dallas (-3) vs. DENVER – ‘Cause Fuck Denver, that’s why… Logg: I can’t believe I am writing this for a second straight week. Yeah! Fuck Denver! COWBOYS
BJ: PITTSBURGH (-6.5) vs. San Diego – OK, so Mike Tomlin, Darren Sproles and Jimmy Buffet walk into a bar……………….and Tomlin tells Sproles, “Get that parrot outta’ there!!” Told you I’m full of Jimmy Buffet jokes. Logg: Jimmy Buffett and Ben Roethlisberger walk into a bar. Ben has a boat steering wheel attached to his penis……….Yar, it’s driving me nuts! STEELERS roll.
BJ: MINNESOTA (-3.5) vs. Green Bay – Did you guys know that Green Bay used to have the Brett Favre?? It’s True!! And now Minnesota has the Brett Favre!! I know!! Logg: Did you know that I hate the fucking Vikings?? It’s True!! And the Packers are playing the Vikings! PACKERS
Logg Last Week: 9-7
Logg Season: 24-24
Bellwether Last Week: 7-9
Bellwether Season: 7-9