Hey, I am back! Did you miss me? Don’t lie. Oh, you didn’t? Well, that’s fine.
Here I am on a Wednesday night, in the usual position. All is as it should be. I am on the couch, wine in hand, and watching the Royals game. Well, I guess I shouldn’t say ALL is as it should be. For one, Kyle Davies is pitching in the third, and hasn’t given a hit up yet*. I don’t know what to say about that. I am just checking in with a couple of things, and then I’ll get out of your hair. I just thought I could give some insight into a few things, and maybe bring some silver lining into the cloud that is Kansas City sports.
*Kyle just gave up a single to left, and then a triple to right. Mariners West 1 – Mariners East 0. Now the universe is back in order. Make that 2-0 now; single to right. Eff!
First, The Chiefs still have not signed their number one pick, Tyson Jackson. I hated this pick when it was made. I had never even heard of the guy. Granted, I am not a huge college football fan. My allegiances tend to fall with the Big XII and Notre Dame. However, given the Chiefs man crush on LSU players, I may need to divert some of my attention there. This is getting a little too much like Carl Peterson’s obsession with players from Penn State. I keep waiting for a show similar to “To Catch a Predator” where Carl is caught walking into a house and attempting to have sex with a Nittany Lion linebacker.
Chris Hanson: “Hi, why don’t you have a seat over there?”
Carl: “Okay.”
Chris: “What are you doing here?”
Carl: “Nothing. I just wanted to talk. I was not going to draft that guy.”
Chris: “I have the transcript here. Did you say ‘you play at Penn State? I wanna draft your blank, and then blank your blank with a poodle, and a poor defensive scheme and crappy personnel’?”
Carl: “Am I going to jail?”
You get the idea. Point is, if you think that getting Jackson to camp right now really matters, then I have a crappy shortstop I’d like to trade you for your best minor league pitching prospect…
Speaking of Betancourt, he has come alive!!!! I found out tonight from the broadcast team that he hit for the cycle. Wow! Problem is that it took two games to do it. Yes, we in Kansas City now consider getting a single, double, triple and a homerun “hitting for the cycle” even if it takes more than one game. With this logic, I fully expect Ron Mahay to cement himself in Royals history tonight by pitching a NO HITTER…for an inning. Actually, he won’t do that either.
I should cut the Royals broadcast duo of Le-Catch the-Fever and Frank “whack it” White some credit. Without them, I would never laugh during a Royals game. Don’t ask me what they were talking about on Tuesday night when this exchange happened (God, I wish I was making this stuff up).
Ryan: “I don’t know anything about fencing. Do you know anything about fencing?”
Frank: “I know it’s hard. This should be Joe’s first and only swordfight.”
WHAT???????????
The Royals are now down 3-2, and Davies just threw the ball into center field on a pickoff play. This is depressing. But, I bet I can make you all feel better. ..
My girlfriend got her Rams season tickets in the mail today.
At least THAT didn’t happen to you.