I’m fascinated by the way announcers in video games work*. In MLB ’07 The Show, I remember the best name they would say was Yunieski. Something about Rex Hudler trying to pronounce the name of a Cuban with a first name that sounds like a Polish last name is just magic. He sounds like an old Yiddish woman. It was so enjoyable, in fact, that I placed my created player, Boof Marconi, on the Mariners just to hear Yunieski called to the plate.
* Probably the best video game name, though is Eric Piatkowski of the LA Clippers in NBA 2001 on the Dreamcast. Don’t know who the announcer was, but since EP was pretty much a scrub on the bench of the worst team in the league they only recorded the announcer saying the name one way: orgasmically. Thing was, thru some sort of computer glitch, Piatkowski was the best 3 point shooter in the game. Unfortunately he couldn’t do much of anything else, which would lead to this happening about 20 times a game: “PIATKOWSKI!!!! …turns it over…”
So, immediately after I found out that we got ourselves a new starting shortstop, I thought: We got ourselves a new starting shortstop!!
Wait…
Oh…
Well, so we didn’t get Circa ’99 Nomar. Oh, well…Plus I’m sure we’ll still be able to finagle a way to get Old Stumpy* get in a few licks at short every 7-9th inning. Sigh…such is life…such is Mango.
* This is my new Tony Pena Jr. nickname. I’ve already gone thru TPJ and TP-Va-jay-jay, but I think regarding him as a player who could tear his left leg off (leaving him with a stump…see??), swing it, and have better offensive numbers fits the bill a little better.
We all know that Dayton’s had a hard-on for Uni since he got into town. He famously tried to pry him away from the M’s in 2007 by dangling Billy Butler out there. Saved only by the grace of somebody else’s stupidity for once, Seattle declined.
I’m not going to go ballistic and say this is the worst trade in the history of the franchise, or put my loyalty and fanhood out to pasture. This is just another dumb move by an excruciatingly dumb franchise…I’ll live.
It’s not all bad news around the KC Playhouse today, though. We can all rest easy in knowing that DMGM’s other man-crush is on a plane to NY and not Boston right now. Seems as if the Mets are the Lucky Pierres in the Frenchy sweepstakes. While I’m glad Francoeur won’t be suiting up for the Royals, it does leave us short in what apparently is this team’s quest to have the lowest OBP in the history of major league baseball.
I keep thinking that one of these days Miguel Olivo is going to walk up to the plate, take one pitch, tip his hat to the pitcher, and say, “Eeh…don’t waste your time. I’ll just walk back to the dugout right now.”
But with Betancourt no risk to be anywhere near the top of the team in HR numbers, and with a better chance for him to learn Farsi from a chimpanzee than learn what “the strike zone” is, I think I need to update my fantasy.