Whenever I go with Hipolito Pichardo to our favorite sports bar to watch a game, he has an annoying habit. HP always insists that we turn the sound way up on whatever TV we are at so that we can hear the announcers and the players. I have no idea why. Most of the time they add about as much value to a game as shots of celebrities in the crowd. Why do we listen to this crap?? Why do we care what athletes say.
LJ’s latest verbal diarrhea has been well documented. I have read all kinds of analysis regarding his tweets and subsequent apology and subsequent banishment from Arrowhead, and I have a hint for you sports writers out there. You ready???
I DON’T CARE.
I don’t. I couldn’t be more apathetic towards what these athletes say on their facebook accounts. I got on facebook today. The most interesting thing I read was someone talking about how they felt John Grisham’s new novel sucks. And that was from someone I know. I don’t care about Tyshawn’s broken English. I care more about his broken finger.
Andre Agassi used crystal meth, lied about it, and is coming clean. Hmmmm, yup, I don’t care. There are enough problems in the world. You think using Meth makes you special, Andre?? I live in Missouri. Most people here use meth.*
*That’s a total lie. Well…
Bob Griese has been suspended by ESPN for making, what may have been, a racist remark about Juan Pablo Montoya. Again, I don’t care. Who cares that Bob thinks that tacos were invented in Colombia. I would have been more interested had he referred to Montoya as Pablo Escobar. Or if he had said, “maybe he went out for some cocaine”.
Steve Phillips is banging an ugly intern. I don’t…uh…actually, I do care on this one. Why is Steve nailing this girl? She is horrible looking. My god. Steve, buddy, I don’t know what your wife looks like (googling…), okay I do now. She’s not perfect, but what the hell???
Anyway, I guess my point is that if the media would just ignore these people and their tweets, posts, e-mails and interns, they would probably just stop making them. Now, I am off to update my facebook status:
L. Wood Kellogg is…getting a taco, banging an intern, and doing meth.